I once wrote a piece for Bikerumor many years ago with this very same title. I’d been sent to Brevard, NC to cover the launch of the revamped Specialized Sequoia, which was their admittedly late-to-the-party entry into the burgeoning scene of “gravel” and “adventure cycling.” The theme, and honestly, part of my whole tired and unimaginative schtick with Bikerumor was (and still is), “Why the f*** are they sending me?” We’ll call it my own poor contribution to at least some glimmer of gonzo journalism. Because while I’ve written for various bike publications for over 20 years, 1) I do not even remotely consider myself a journalist, 2) I am rarely interested in writing, much less reading, reviews about bikes or gear, and 3) I happen to own a bike shop that very much did not sell Specialized. Which put me in the awkward position of talking objectively, possibly positively, about a bike and brand that directly competed with the ones on my floor, and that I had some long standing relationships with.

Go find it if you like. Or don’t. It stands up in some ways… doesn’t in others.

It’s also pretty funny to think about these days, older and wiser as we are, because certain people were definitely very, very, very cross about it all. Which all felt like some insane NYC hardcore-scene drama; a lot of grown-a** men who should have stronger constitutions, all screaming about feeling “betrayed” by someone or something about something or someone.

BTW, I wasn’t one of those adult men… but in my own way, I also wasn’t not one of them.

Fast forward almost ten years to a few days ago, when my newest sales rep stopped through and we went over his entire bike catalog to decide which models make the most sense to stock in the shop.

Because, so… we’re the new Specialized dealer in town.

And I’m pretty f-ing into it.

No lie, we’re both approaching each other a little cautiously in these early days of the relationship. Because in this film I play the beautiful young goth mistress of a wealthy older man. We’re from different walks of life, but both want the same thing; Drugs. Love. But who knows?… There might be some real chemistry there. There might even be some drama. I’m hoping for some cinematically rich scenes in Majorca or the Pyrenees. But can absolutely promise some full frontal nudity.

Oh, I have your attention? Good.

Currently, we have a pretty decent starting stock of saddles, shoes, tires, helmets and a few of the other reasons I started flirting with Specialized in the first place. Bikes will come soon enough, but we’ve both got some safe words to establish first.

(Whispers a little too loudly, “Roubaix.”)

It’s been an interesting year. Not necessarily in the ways I was hoping for, but pretty much in the ways I expected. And I’ll admit, signing on with Specialized falls on the side of the unexpected. For both of us, I’d wager.

But unexpected sounds pretty refreshing right now.

Stay tuned.